George Herrick Lasua’s recent art is an expression of his experience with cancer.
In the dark pit of fear that is indivisible from the disease, he discovered an unpredictable treasure:
angels of compassionate support and deep insight.
Those angels are the inspiration for this exhibit.

 “Those who know my art, know it is always about color and texture, depth and truth.
Cancer has taught me more about these traits in a very real and raw way.
Disease brought me to the dark; art, to light.”

 (Click on the painting image for more information)

The Wanderer

I believe there are Angels who wander the world, watching and waiting for when their gifts will be most needed. As they wander, I wonder: when will I waken to my own needs?

A Pause in the Garden

I love my garden. It is an Angel unto itself. It’s my sanctuary, my oasis in a busy life. Its colors, textures, scents, the songs of its birds, and even the drone of its bugs all soothe my soul. We all need a place to pause.

Courage

Life is not for the faint of heart. It puts all kinds of challenges, dilemmas and obstacles in our path. It can feel dark; it can GET dark! We need Angels to guide us through. Angels like: Curiosity, Creativity, Courage and Compassion. Being alive is a bold act.

The Exhale

I inhale what I need to be alive. I exhale what I no longer need, what I’ve used up, what never helped, what isn’t mine, what limits me, what isn’t life, what isn’t love. The exhale is vital. It feeds the life that gives me life. It’s a shamanic Angel that transforms what takes life into what gives life. Inhaling is a gift, exhaling is an Angel.

Sun Dance 

Angels would rather dance rigidly under the sun than sit lifelessly in the dark. It is the willingness to move, more than the style of movement, that inspires aliveness. Moving beyond darkness, or disease, doesn’t care how it happens.

Cloud of Unknowing

Angels know there is power in unknowing. Everything is possible in the place of unknowing. Once we know something, we stop asking questions, we stop seeking answers. There is no wisdom, nor power, in no longer trying to learn. Cancer demands learning.

Earth Listens

Angels are not of the Earth, but they are for the Earth. They are not of human flesh but they are for humanity. They bring us wisdom, grace, connection to Source. They bring healing. When they speak, Earth listens. When they speak, I listen.

The Bridge

An Angel is neither here nor there. Yet it is both here and there. And most importantly, it is the bridge from here to there. So when I am lost, spiritually, I don’t need a map or a book. I need an Angel.

Strength of Grace

Grace is simple. That is its strength. Grace often emerges from dark circumstances or experiences as an Angel of simplicity. It says, “I am not here to save you. I am not here to guide you. I am simply here to be with you, right where you are.” That’s grace.

Learning the Truth

Truth be told, you can’t handle the truth – the truth hurts. Common phrases lumped together into one message from cancer. But while that message may be true, it is not the Truth. The Truth, as taught by my Angel, is that facing and embracing the hurt – or in this case fear – IS handling the truth, and the struggle to ground in that is what enables healing.

When the River Cracks

 Life is fluid. Time flows, energy flows, thoughts and emotions and actions flow, love flows. Of course, fluids don’t crack…

…but in that devastating moment when your reality shatters, doesn’t it FEEL like life has cracked? Like instead of a flow it feels like it’s crumbling? This is the moment the Angel lets us climb upon its wings and fly us over the cracks.

Messages in the Moonlight

Daylight has so many distractions, each vying for attention. I can’t tell what is most important amid the chaos and cacophony.

In the dark silence of moonlight, spirit’s message drifts down like an Angel’s feather brushing my cheek. Paying attention to that is easy.

Heart Waking

The wakened heart finds life in every experience. Fear makes me want to numb, to go to sleep. My Angel keeps nudging me awake.

Stretching

A diagnosis of advanced, aggressive adenocarcinoma hits hard. It’s not a stretch to let thoughts take a very dark turn. But Angels fly when they stretch their wings, and healing occurs when we stretch our will to do whatever it takes to heal.

Hope in the Darkness

Sometimes, as Emily Dickinson wrote, “Hope is the thing with feathers…” Sometimes, however, hope is a fiery Angel that comes blazing in the darkness with bold courage. Hope’s power comes by claiming it, by living what is hoped for.

Feelings Blooming

Some things grow to fullness in the dark. The lotus, for example. Deep down in mud and muck, the seed germinates, and the plant grows toward the sun, becoming one of the most beautiful of flowers. Imagine what beauty may possibly come from your darkest places…   

Healing Grief

Disease brings a certain grief with it. Grief feels ungrounded. Trying to make it come to Earth – to be rational, logical, explainable, fixable – only perpetuates its pain. Grief, like an Angel, is not to be controlled but accepted. Let it rise… it will land when it is ready.

Mystic Blue

The mystic is one who seeks to become one with Source. Yet it comes not from seeking but surrendering – surrendering self. It is a state of pure essence, able to access the wisdom of the ancients. It is pure acceptance of all that is. For a few moments, I have been a cancer mystic; we were one, and I knew unquestioningly the gifts it offered me. But mysticism is transient.

Bold Awakening

Once you know, you can’t unknow. The wake up call is not an interesting idea or a light suggestion. It is a hard truth. It’s message is very clear: do not go back to sleep! You have a life to attend to, and that life wants you to embrace it.

The Guardian

Who watches over me? Who keeps the monsters at bay? Not the monsters that eat at my body; I have medical teams to deal with them. I mean the real monsters, the ones that try to destroy and defeat my spirit with worry and fear. For that, I need angels.

The Sentinel

There are energies I want to receive: healing, love, wisdom, creativity. And there are energies I want to reject: fear, anxiety, worry, despair. I can’t always discern them because the latter group often wears the clothes, speaks the language, of the former.  The Sentinel knows “who goes there?”

Self, Awakening

The day doesn’t wake with sudden light; the sun rises slowly. The Angel wakes me gradually, from the inside, with little sparks of light – little ahas. It wants me to integrate what I am learning about myself.

Fireflight

In the midst of everything, there is a moment when you are on fire with aliveness! You are soaring across the skies! This is a moment when you know that what you thought would destroy you has the power to transform you.  It will burn a bit, but don’t put the fire out.

Determination

It will want to slow you down. It will want to turn you around. It will want you upside down. It will try to stop you. Whatever your “it” is, determine to be greater than it. You already are.

Inspiration

Inspiration is like a great wing upon which you can fly into mystery, into magic, into dreams, into every manner of possibility!

Acceptance

Accept the thing. Or ignore it. Or fight it. I found fighting wears me down and ignoring causes me to atrophy. Acceptance gives me the energy and power to learn from the thing, grow from it, transform it. Acceptance generates strength and wisdom.

Coming Alive

 Coming alive is a fluid thing. It is like water, air, fire. Coming alive is a dance, a song. A single breath, a drop of blood, a bead of sweat – each contains a universe of life, reaching for expansion. It is time, finally and always, to go with the flow, to be the flow.

The Offering

Giving one small thing can change an entire life. Of course, I never offered my prostate to cancer. But even what we don’t volunteer to sacrifice becomes an offering when we give up the resistance to letting it go.  What I didn’t choose to give on my own, my Angel gave for me.

Loving Embrace

Is my Angel embracing me? Am I an angel embracing my inner child? Is cancer an angel embracing what is possible for me? Does it matter who is doing the embracing and of whom, as long as it is with love? 

The New Journey

There is no going back, only forward. Nothing will ever be the same. The new journey has begun. It is mine to live. Things I can’t foresee will help to shape it, and I will not have complete control. But my creative influence and willingness to collaborate with life on life’s terms will likely make for a very interesting journey.

Connection

Alone in the dark, connect with what is always present. The dark will come and go. Connection can be steadfast.

The Energy

When there is no self-judgment, -expectation, -assumption, -loathing or -diminishment to get in its way, our energy is free to show us its immensity and potential.

Reflecting Trust

We trust the wrong thing. We want to trust that love, in whatever form it is in our lives, will not hurt us. But it always will. If we learn to trust that love will not abandon us in our hurt, will embrace us in our hurt, we will heal the hurt. I slowly trust that the pain of dis-ease will teach me ease if I don’t run.

Moondream

Buried under the weight of darkness,

look up to see the moon.

And if even the moon is dark,

dream it, and look up at that.

What am I asking? Look up.

Expanding Wisdom

As a kid, we used to play, “How big is ___?” And the answer was “sooooo big!” We would stretch our arms nearly out of their sockets. Cancer felt soooo big. Treatment felt soooo big. The lessons feel soooo big. The love I received is soooo big. Life is soooo big. Everything, if lived fully and deeply, is soooo big. That, I believe, is the root of wisdom. 

Return to the Garden

I left the garden afraid. With good reason. The journey is a dark one. Any soul journey worth taking is going to a dark one – dark is where the soul lives. And while dark is dangerous, running from it is more so.  On the other side of the journey is the best of what was left behind, but transformed as much as the journeyer has been – we don’t see the world as it is, but as we are. I return to the garden seeing light, courage, faith, strength, beauty. I see more life than ever, because I that’s what the Angels in the dark showed me I am.

Morning

Each morning now, notice. Pay attention and let it come. The Angel of the day, showing up and ready for anything. 

Opening the Heart

(This painting was not included in the exhibit)

Amid the worlds that make up all the parts of life – relationships and work and hopes and dreams and faith and chaos and everything we love and loathe – an Angel nears to open our hearts as much as we can bear, and protect the rest until its time.

Sanctuary

(This painting was not included in the exhibit)

In the textures of sanctuary, there is so much to feel that reminds us we are wrapped in the warm blanket of home.